Camp Buckskin

A teenager asked if he could talk to me privately. I of course said yes, and sent the other kids away to play on the football pitch so I could have a chat with him. He told me his father had died a few years ago in an accident and that the kids in his class were bullying him because he didn’t have a dad. Shocking I know, but kids can be so cruel. He went on to say that he tried to kill himself so that he could be with his dad as he missed him so much. The teenager had tears rolling down his cheeks. It completely broke me, although I didn’t let it show as I’m meant to be the Councillor. It took every ounce of strength I had not to break down in front of the child. I wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. There are strict rules at Camp Buckskin for my safety as well as the childs, but I knew right then what I had to do. I would guide him to the right path. I knew then I had made the right decision last year to come and work with special needs children.

It was a cold December day in Japan 2016 where the Para Ice Hockey World Championships were taking part. Great Britain had got themselves in to the bronze medal game against Slovakia. Whoever won this game and got the bronze medal would advance to the Winter Paralympic Qualifiers in Italy the following year and then had a chance to play in Korea at the Winter Olympics. The loser would be going home to lick their wounds and try again in another four years time.

By the end of the 1st Period we were 2-0 down, but not out of it yet. Into the 2nd Period we went with our heads held high. I was chasing the puck down in my own defensive zone when the boards started to rush towards me at a freighting pace, almost like a parachutist getting ground rush. I lost my blade on the ice as I turned to pick up the puck and crashed into the boards with an echoing thump. I knew instantly I had broken my back… again!

After the accident, I needed to take a year out of sport to recover, but I also knew I needed to fill it with something meaningful, like a dream job. I did some research and I landed on becoming a Councillor at a summer camp in the States. By early 2017 I was applying for jobs all over America when I received an email from a place called Camp Buckskin in Northern Minnesota. It was a small family run camp that helped special needs and vulnerable children find their place in life with lots of structure and sports while also helping them learn how to cope with their conditions, whatever they were. Before I knew it I was scheduling the first of three skype interviews with the Program Director Umaga (nickname).

After three very long interviews Umaga told me I had been offered the job as a cabin councillor. I knew with my life experiences I had plenty to offer Camp Buckskin and couldn’t wait to get started helping children realise their potential. This time last year I was packing my bags and making sure I had my passport and a sense of adventure and was ready to get to work doing what would probably be one of the hardest jobs I would do post Army

.

I landed in Minnesota and cleared customs, but only after reassuring the man behind the desk with, no sense of humour that I was not coming to marry an American girl. I met up with some other Camp Councillors and headed straight to the bus depot for a three hour bus ride to Duluth where we would be picked up by Camp Staff. Some of us had been travelling all day so it was fast food and then a further two hour drive till we got to camp. It was already late in the evening and darkness had descended upon us as we drove through thick woodland that made it seem that much darker and quite eerie as the mist rolled in on some low lying roads. Out of the gloom we saw a sign that read, “Camp Buckskin” and an arrow directed us down a smaller dirt track.

This Camp was literally in the middle of nowhere and at night it was scary. To make matters worse we were told not to walk beyond the perimeter into the woods as there were three local wolf packs roaming around the area, not to mention a bear attack a few years back.

A few minutes later I was dropped off at my cabin, shown where the ablutions were and given a timing for breakfast if I wanted it. Being in the military I got my sleeping bag out and dived straight in it before realising I needed the toilet. There was no way I was going to venture out into the darkness so I held on till the morning.

I woke up at about 07:00 on a bed the army would have been proud to call their own. The sun was already above the horizon giving it an orange tint that actually made it look like a fiery ball in the sky. I was in a cabin with another bed opposite me and a door that led into the main part of the cabin where there were four bunk beds just about suitable for the kids to sleep on. The cabin was pretty basic, a bed and an open cubby hole next to it for some clothing. I loved it, it was my kind of wilderness. There was no signal on the phone and I couldn't hear any vehicles. All I could hear was the singing of birds and of course the bugs dive bombing me at every opportunity. They were everywhere. I mean we were in the land of 10,000 lakes and that attracted swarms of blood sucking bugs that needed to feed… well, we were the only real source of food for them, but luckily I had my 100% Deet Mosquito Repellent to bathe in. The kids kept telling me I would get cancer if I sprayed myself with 100% Deet, but I told them at least I would be a bug free cancer patient.

Over the next 10 days the Supervisors put a lot of time and dedication in to making sure we were ready for the arrival of all the kids. We went over scenarios where supervisors played the child and we acted as the councillor, reacting to whatever we found in front of us. The scenarios ranged from children running off into the woods or fights breaking out or even fraternisation between children. Most of it was common sense, however these days common sense can be quite hard to find. As soon as you say, “This is a test” people seem to panic and figuratively throw common sense out the window. By the end of the 10 days all of us were as ready as we were ever going to be. The supervisors paired us off with another staff member for the in-cabin councillors as there was always two to a cabin. I couldn’t have been happier with my co-councillor Pac-Man (nickname). He was from Northern Ireland and really looking forward to helping with the kids, but the most important thing was… he didn’t snore. I could get a decent night sleeps without having to throw all my shoes at him.

On arrival the kids had to hand over all their electrical items like cell phones, mp3 players and any game systems. They were completely technology free and the only way for them to communicate with the outside world was through writing a letter. We encouraged them to write at least one letter a week to their parents, but they could write more if they wanted to. One of the younger kids wrote to his parents saying Camp Buckskin was like a prison and he hated it there. Then he went on to say that he hated his parents for sending him there and they couldn’t possibly love him because they sent him to a prison. Add in a few ‘F’ bombs and you have yourself a very interesting letter. I think we sent it anyway, but rang his parents just to let them know a sternly worded letter was on its way.

Finally, the kids arrived and Pac-man and I were quite nervous, but luck would have it that most of the kids in our cabin had attended before. The first night was a night I would never forget. By 21:30 the kids were all in bed and the lights were out. Both of us looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief as we collapsed on to our beds in a heap. I looked in the mirror and saw a face that looked like it had been held captive for a few months, and it was only day one. I washed, showered and got back to the cabin and went straight into my sleeping bag. With day one under my belt I said to myself how hard could this actually be.

“Arrrgh! Arrrgh! Arrrgh!” I sat bolt upright dazed and confused for a second or two. My co-councillor had done the same and we looked at each other trying to figure out what was happening in the kids cabin. I rushed out of bed and stood by the inner door bracing myself for a scene of carnage. I thought, had a bear or a wolf entered without us seeing it? Or was one of the other kids trying to hurt another child. I picked up one of my walking poles and looked at Pac-Man in a way that said, “You ready?” without actually saying it. He nodded, so I kicked open the door like I was doing room clearance drills back in Iraq. I cautiously made my way into the cabin with the walking pole in a baseball stance ready to fight off the wild animal that was attacking my kids. On entering the room, I saw no wild animal attacking anybody nor did I see a child out of bed. In fact, they were all asleep. I could see nothing out of place other than us standing in the middle of the cabin with puzzled looks on our faces. I couldn’t hear any sniggers or kids pretending to sleep. I was perplexed. We both withdrew from the cabin and back to our beds. I sat on my bed just to calm myself down a little and then laid my head on the pillow and I was asleep again. I woke up in the morning and had a confab with Pac-Man just to make sure last night’s antics weren’t a dream. He confirmed it wasn’t. When it was time to wake the kids up we spoke to them about the incident. It transpired that one of the kids screams in his sleep quite regularly throughout the night. It was a relief; however, he could have said something the day before.

Camp Buckskin is not a chain nor is it a franchise. It is a family business run by a lovely couple called Higgins and Hathaway and the love and attention that goes into making the camp what it is comes straight form the heart. This is proven by the fact that Camp Buckskin had so many returners each year, some in fact have been going to the summer camp since they were eight years old. I wish the United Kingdom did summer camps like the US does. We would find a lot more kids learning how to handle life a little better and getting involved in outdoor activities instead of playing on their games consoles. I don’t say this often, but, America has got it right here and we need to follow suit.

I would recommend to anybody and everybody who may be interested in working at a summer camp to take the plunge and sign up no matter what age you are. It will probably be the hardest you have ever worked in your life, but it will be the most rewarding as well. For me, the highlight of the summer was teaching that child to grieve for his father and knowing it was okay to enjoy life again. I watched him grow over the four weeks as he came out of his shell and interacted with the other kids and engaged in the sporting activities. I watched him try new things he had never even thought of trying and when it came to leaving, I knew he was leaving a better person all round. I can’t wait to return the following summer 2019 to help more special needs children find their place in the world. I think I may have found mine.

Thank You Camp Buckskin for an epic summer I will never forget and welcoming me into the Buckskin family.

Till next time folks…

The World Post Lockdown & Pool C 2022

It is fair to say that after the Berlin Worlds 2019, where we positioned last in the tournament of the Para Ice Hockey World Championships, the whole team was pretty disheartened and had about as much motivation as a Sloth with narcoleptic tendencies. For anybody who didn’t read my Blog about the Berlin Worlds I will explain what happened… in fact I will summarise for you. The Great Britain Para Ice Hockey Team needed to place 5th or higher so we didn’t get dropped into Pool C and therefore making it so much harder to get into the Winter Olympics 2026 in Italy. The GB team fought hard, however it ultimately came down to one team, Poland. Long story short we lost 3-2 and we subsequently got dropped to Pool C. It was a very low point in our sporting career and very understandable why we were disillusioned with the trajectory of our sport.

When we returned to the UK events were already unfolding in the far east that would have grave consequences for us all in the UK. I am of course talking about COVID 19. Little did we know just how much our way of life would change for the foreseeable future if not for ever. We, as a team, went back to our families and back to whatever our normalities would consist of and tried to put the events of Berlin behind us as much as we could… it didn’t help that all the games were already posted online for the world to see. Salt, wounds etc.

It wasn’t long before the world had to think about something even bigger when in Wuhan Provence, China, somebody had contracted, the afore mentioned, Covid 19 from eating bat soup. I know some countries have their cultures but to be honest bat soup, no matter how it’s cooked or even by the best Michelin Star Chef, just does not go on my list of things to try. With international travel at a click of a button the virus started to spread around the world from person-to-person contact. Soon the WHO (World Health Organisation) not the pop group, had officially called it a Pandemic and our Prime Minister Boris Johnson, I think it was… we have had a lot of PMs since then, put us into lockdown telling us to stay at home.

I remember when the PM came on the telly and announced that we would go into lockdown… it felt like a movie and I must be honest; I had some anxiety about the lockdown. I was single then living on my own, which at the time was a blessing in disguise, as being disabled I was in the ‘at risk’ and ‘vulnerable’ group and told to isolate until the pandemic was over or we have a vaccination. Well luckily the vaccination came first and within seven months I was in the queue waiting to be pricked by the over worked and underpaid, but lovely nurses at one of the many huge a very busy vaccination centres around the country, then it was back to ‘house arrest’ somewhere deep in the Wiltshire countryside. It definitely could have been worse; I could have been in a Highrise or a Flat somewhere with no garden. Anyway, lockdown wasn’t too bad as I found out I had been self-isolating for about three years prior to the pandemic and not a lot had changed in my life. The Media were doing their usual thing of ‘everything is all doom and gloom’ and in the end I had to turn it off and renew my subscriptions to every major streaming site there was and binge on movies, comedies and documentaries. Once that started to get boring, I had soon completed You Tube and got to Expert level on Pornhub. Suppose that’s what you get for being single in lockdown.

The GB sledge hockey team rallied around everyone and tried to get people to use zoom for Hiit classes and just a general chat and keep in contact really. I was not into the wizardry of zoom and technology and it took me a long time to join in on one of the classes. Once I got involved in one it was very good and I had forgotten just how good fitness was for the mind and body. Especially a bored one. I wasn’t completely confined to the house as I have a Beagle called Lexi that I took out every afternoon/evening. Lexi had turned from just a dog to my ESA (Emotional Support Animal) and if it were not for her, I would have found lockdown so much harder.

2020 flew by in lockdown, then at one stage we were allowed to come out to play for a bit, then it was nope we messed up and you’re all grounded again. A lot of it was pretty comical in the midst of a deadly pandemic that was taking thousands of lives every day. 2021 came and I think it was lockdown 3.0 had arrived in the midst of winter and being confined to the house again was really taking its toll on me mentally. I more or less became a recluse until the days started to lengthen and the big yellow firey thing in the sky started to shine once more. I was forced out of the house to start foraging around Tesco for food and wash kit trying to stifle any type of cough or sneeze for fear of being lynched out of the store. It was so comical. The look you got when you sneezed or coughed in front of people was one of disgust and contempt. Even if it was completely innocent like a fly flew into your mouth.

It had been a while since I had had any human contact in every sense of the word so I was convinced by a friend to get back on the dating websites and put myself out there. I first had to learn how to interact with real people and not talk to them like you would a dog in a high-pitched baby voice. It’s just not a good look when you meet a prospective partner and run up to them and pat them on the head saying ‘good girl’ it gets frowned upon, apparently. I did have a few dates in the beginning, however I was assured that you need to go on lots of dates to find your one true love, so to speak. And love I did find, even looking like a Hermit who had just walked out of the woods straight onto a date. Fast forward to the present time and we are a couple happily living together.

Concurrent to my love life the IPC (International Paralympic Committee) decided to have the 2021 Pool C Tournament in Finland. Just two teams in the whole tournament, us, and Finland. Now Covid was still present and there was not a sufficient Covid plan of action put in place to protect the athletes and staff. The IPC turned around to us and said if you don’t go you will be staying in Pool C and Finland will be ascending to Pool B without even playing a competitive game of Hockey. Finland was unable to put in safety measures that would give some level of protection for the team, so the hard choice was made for us. We would pull out of the tournament therefore resigning ourselves to an extra year in Pool C and it did not go down well within the team. We felt we were being punished for putting our health and safety first. You must remember the whole team is disabled and on the ‘at risk’ and ‘vulnerable’ group. Getting Covid could literally put any one of us in an early grave. No IPC tournament is worth dying for.

2022 arrived and the world is looking slightly more pleasant than the last year. I get a message from a friend within the team, he tells me of a rumour that the next Pool C tournament is possibly going ahead at the end of the year. YES! We finally have a goal to work to, nothing worse than going to the gym or doing exercise and not having a goal to work for. Although when my friend told me of the destination, I was rather sceptical and thought he was taking the piss. So, I kept it to myself and didn’t tell a soul for fear of looking like an idiot until a few months later when the team met up for training one month. In the meeting the Coach told us that the Pool C tournament would be held in… (drumroll)… Bangkok, Thailand. I know what you’re thinking. That famous Ice Hockey Nation of Thailand. In all honesty I didn’t even know they had an ice rink, but this was genuine. The IPC had, in all their wisdom, asked Thailand to hold the tournament from the 1st of December to the 12th. It was to include six other teams most of which are beginners really, however it was great to see so many teams join in considering Pool C only consisted of GB and Finland just last year. It was now time to start training and building up the team with some new blood.

This time the Coaches asked three of the females from the newly formed women’s GB team to join the men’s team in Bangkok. At the moment the men’s team is Co-ed up until 2025 when the two teams will be single sex only. Every one of those female athletes have well and truly earned their spot on the team and have integrated themselves quite nicely into the team dynamic and I’m sure they will prove themselves a worthy teammate within the squad.

There is only a month to go before we fly out to Thailand and the team is looking very strong. Probably one of the strongest teams I have seen since I joined all the way back in 2013. This should be the biggest delegation that the GB Para Ice Hockey team has seen since that bronze medal the team won in Japan 2013. We are classed as one of the favourites in the group and that is an unusual position for us to be in considering we are normally in Pool B fighting it off for the last two positions in the group. Pool C should see us go top and rise back into the ranks of Pool B once more, however nothing is guaranteed, and we will have to play every game like it is a gold medal match. I know I can’t wait to get back on the ice after so long away and represent my country once again in the field of sport.

As Bangkok looms on the not-too-distant horizon I am left pondering a big and important question to myself. Will this be my last World Championships with the GB team? I am not the young physically fit lad I used to be and in Para sport I know you can get older people still playing, but as you all know sledge hockey is a very physical sport and I don’t think my body can take many more big hits or injuries, especially at the young age of 37 years and 60 months old. I would love to say that we have a whole new wave of young talent coming through to take over my spot on the team, however that would be a lie. There are people coming through but not nearly enough and so I am putting out a call to anybody with a disability who like a fast, hard and very physical sport to come forward and get on the ice at one of your local rinks. The only way I can describe Sledge Hockey is it’s like rugby on ice. Google it and find out where your local sledge hockey club is and just try it out. I guarantee you will come off the ice with a smile on your face. You may find in a few years you could be on the ice in a faraway country battling it out against the best in the world for a medal of some kind. One can most definitely dream, right?

I shall leave you with this quote as I close this blog.

‘Some people dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.’

T.E.Lawrence

Till next time folks

The Worlds did not fall into line

It has been a little under three months since the end of the B Pool World Championships and I have had some time to reflect on our tournament in Berlin as I nurse a minor injury to my bicep and shoulder. They say, ‘Get everything into the open and let the sunlight be the disinfectant’ can be a way to unburden yourself of your troubles. Also, someone once said, “There is a silver lining in everything.” Even if you have to look deep, deep down it will be there. I hope by the end of this blog I would have found said silver lining as so far one seems to have eluded me.

Post 2016 Japan Worlds the GB squad took a break due to injuries and not having enough players to form a squad so the step was taken to go on hiatus, which I must agree was the right idea and something we needed. 2017 the GB squad was back on the ice and the classroom with a new zest for life and a much needed change in mindset and body. This was the first time I saw the squad act like a team and gel together both on and off the ice. Athletes were chasing each other up for training updates and swapping ideas for off-ice training and more importantly it was working. It was spurring people on to do more and beat each other’s times on that particular piece of apparatus, thus making us fitter and stronger than any other tournaments I have been to.

So why did we, the GB Squad, fail to stay in Pool B with all this new found training and mindset? Well as anybody who plays sport and a top level will tell you, if you’re not moving forward you are essentially going backwards. The year out, even though it was much needed, put us a giant step back while the rest of Pool B carried on moving forwards. So before we even got on the ice we were at a disadvantage to all the other teams. Then you have the countries who are fully funded and paid athletes, so essentially all they do is eat, sleep and play hockey. To put it into contexts it like Basildon Athletic playing Manchester United. It’s not about if you will lose, it’s about how much you will lose by and the likes of Poland and Great Britain cannot compete against those fully funded countries.

We are completely self-funded and reliant on the generosity of the Great British public and businesses who donate by way of branded kit like hockey jerseys and team kit. A huge thank you has to go to company’s the likes of Kappa UK, Mowbray Sports, PLS Solicitors and We Are Victory Hockey to name just a few. We have had way more Social Media this time and all done by our very own Matt Woollias who at times, I bet, didn’t want to post the scores and try to be impartial so another thanks to him for everything he did. The supporters who came out to Berlin were amazing and a huge thanks to them for coming all the way from the UK to cheer us on.

We had lost every game leading up to the Poland match, which was to be expected, but it was the number of goals we lost by that was disappointing for us and it will be something to address for the next tournament. We targeted Poland knowing we had to beat them to stay in Pool B. The first period we had most of the play and pressured them into making mistakes that lead to us going a goal up on Poland. However, Poland came back at us and managed to get a cheap goal along the ice to go 1-1 a pretty soft goal if you ask me that should have been stopped. With more pressure put on Poland we got another goal making it 2-1. Before we could see out the first period we made some mistakes of our own and a great shot from the Blue line put Poland level with us. The second period I think we again had most of the pressure and it was only down to the polish net minder pulling of some incredible saves that denied us a further few goals. Going into the third period it was make or break. It was hard and a well fought period of hockey, however it would be Poland that would come out on top with a third goal in the last three minutes of play making it 3-2. This put us under a vast amount of pressure, but we needed to attack and get a goal so we could take it either into extra time or take an outright win. Well this time the chips did not fall on our side and Poland came out the victors with a 3-2 score line. This was a game we could have won and should have won. Poland were not great and a few extra players and a second net minder and we would have won I think.

At the end of the Poland game I got off the ice quite disheartened and as I got out of my sledge I heard this soft female voice call out, “Jonathon” I looked up and saw my Japanese interpreter who stayed by my side while I was in hospital after breaking my back in the 2016 Japan Worlds. She came out to Berlin to see me and it put a much needed smile on my face after such a devastating loss.

To say we were all disappointed is a great understatement, everybody was seething in the changing rooms. The mood was sombre, almost funeral like as everyone was deep in their own thoughts, then out of the other side of the room you heard someone play the song ‘The Sound of Silence’ by Simon & Garfunkel and people started to smile and then after a few more other sad songs like REM or Jonny Cash’s ‘Hurt’ we were all breaking out into laughter and adding our own sad songs to the mix. Sometimes it takes a Captain to bring us all out of our funk. So hats off to Tyler #09 for that.

That night was a tough one as the whole game was on a loop in my head, however this time I was saving all of the goals and not making any mistakes. It was frustrating to say the least so my roommate and I went up to the Sauna that evening for some quiet reflection and to debrief the game. We did come up with some home truths and put it down to a few factors that didn’t go in our favour. Even though we lost every game we did come away with a lot of positives to take into the next tournament and that is where I think the silver lining is for us. Sometimes to advance further in sport you have to take a step back and if that means going into Pool C just to show the haters and doubters that we should not be there then that’s what we will do. We will work harder, better and we will get back into Pool B again very soon.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom in the GB camp. Morale has always been high as team mates throw insults at each other and talk about old tournaments where certain people missed the plane or tried to drive over the Pennines in the middle of the night as the deathly cold hand of winter sprinkles a foot or two of snow that stops them in their tracks. It was only funny because they managed to get a flight out the very next day and arrive in time for the start of that tournament. One of the rooms is turned into a football stadium, as someone brought a PS4, where a couple of people are playing FIFA. Everybody is laughing and having fun as we take the piss out of our strikers for missing an open goal. The squad would always spend meal times together as team, which helped with the bonding and made sure people were eating properly. On one occasion we were all on our way back from an Italian restaurant and Matt Woollias decided he would have ago on an Uber Scooter that was left abandon outside the restaurant. Moments later we heard an almighty crash behind us and Woollias was in a heap on the ground next to a local man whose only words in English were, “Not cool, man.” Everybody couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably as our team mate scraped himself off the ground and apologised profoundly to the man he had just wiped out. It’s stories like these that make a team like ours as close as it is today.

We didn’t have the tournament we wanted and yes we got relegated into Pool C, but we now have new players coming through in the January training camp, which means possibly more players to switch up with. We still have the management team in place that will push us further, harder and better than last time. We have things to work on in our personal skating and puck handling. Our off ice training is getting better and we will still push each other to strive for excellence as our place within the GB Squad is never guaranteed and must be worked for every day. We still stand by our ethos where we are the Elite, we have Passion and are United in the wins, but more importantly the defeats. Before we went on the ice for each game we banged our sticks on the sides and flooring in unison, which made a heck of a racket. Each team manager said it was intimidating just listening to it, almost like the Zulu’s banging their drums behind the hill before going into battle. I don’t care what team you are, it will be intimidating and off putting. Some battles are won before they are even fought.

As a team we all look forward to November 2020 where we will play in the C Pool Worlds. Where they will be held is still uncertain, but what is certain is that we will play our hearts out as we have done before with the goal in mind of getting back into Pool B the following year where we belong. The hard work and dedication starts right here, right now!

Well I have rambled on long enough now so I will leave you with this quote from a great man:

Success is not final,

Failure is not fatal:

It is the courage to

Continue that counts.

Winston Churchill

Till next time folk…